The sweet spot
At the end of every school year, I have this feeling of excitement that Summer is arriving, but also this sadness that life is moving too fast. I don't often write about my three reasons for living my best life, but I have been doing so much work on myself, on my healing that it is hard not to think about the humans that wake you up every morning. I want it all to slow down, time moves at such a rapid pace, that you don't realize that your children are actual people and your job of changing diapers, giving nightly bubbles and singing lullabies has vanished.
I spent so much time when they were young wishing time away. Looking for that time when they would sleep through the night, the teething would be over so they weren't so fussy and maybe it would be ok if I could skip past those terrible two's and three's. I am wishing I was back there. Waking up in the darkness to feed them, hold them close, smell that beautiful aroma of their sweet breath.
All ages have there own challenges. Gone are the days of diaper bags, early bed times and toys strewn all over the house, in every single corner, making my mind hurt. I am wishing I was back there. I traded those days for insanely busy schedules of basketball, baseball, dancing and piano lessons. Beating the clock to get dinner on the table and putting myself to bed way before them, so I have enough energy to do it all again.
Yes, I feel overwhelmed and overworked, but I wouldn't change it and I am wishing I was back there, when they were little and sweet and called me Mama. This end of year has given me a young man who has completed his first year of high school, maintaining First Honors and being awarded MVP for both Basketball and baseball. It has given me a Seventh grader who also got First Honors and has become this beautiful young women, who is taller than me, challenges my patience everyday, but is filled with so much love and kindness. Then there is my Lucy Kate, my baby who just turned 7. She is our light, full of energy, empathy, kindness and strength. How did these 7 years FLY BY? It's so beautiful watching them grow into different personalities of there own, you can even see glimpses of who they will be.
I have heard others talk about this phenomenon called the "sweet spot." When your kids are people and there are no babysitters to call, no pajamas to lay out and no long explanation of directions to write down. This weekend, my husband and I got a call to go for dinner Saturday night. I had to pause when they asked. I didn't need a babysitter, I could just leave! The SWEET SPOT had arrived, but a part of me was wishing I was back there and I left the house feeling like something was missing. Guess what, they were fine, and when we got home Lucy was sleeping and Avery and David were watching a movie on the couch.
Yes, I am very blessed and I don't lose sight of that. I have young adults and one little and for now I will enjoy the Sweet Spot. Time is fleeting, it moves too fast and very soon I will have one going to college, one finishing high school and one that will only be entering 4th grade. Did you read that? Looks like that Sweet Spot will vanish and I will be back to finding babysitters and writing a list. For now I will stand in joy and gratitude and maybe wishing I was back there.